sleepy.

[Bon Iver+ general exhaustion= sublimity.]

um.

i'm a little embarrassed at how negative i've been these past months. i don't know how to let my emotions out. i used to not feel them, and now i know them for what they are and they render me helpless.

my home life isn't the best, or at least, it's not what i wish it were. there are a lot of transgressions of space and etiquette, two things i do not handle well. and instead of acting constructively, i have become exhausted, overly sensitive, and vaguely passive-aggressive. i hate this about myself.

that stress has climbed into work and taken hold, as well. aside from the completely unmet financial needs, of course.

i don't know what to do. is it enough to know that i have fallen into these tendencies? is being aware of them changing them? or do i have to conduct an overhaul of my entire being?

i feel, increasingly, that a mass purging is necessary. some kind of rite of purification for myself and my head. it's becoming a need. but there is no time, not when i have to frantically sweep everything into planning for school and work more than i sleep.

sigh.

i should go to bed. cross your fingers that i actually get to fall asleep this time. noise, blissful irritating noise....